ME
5:44 PM
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The jukebox plays my song:
"When you look me in the eyes" {eng}
Jonas Brothers

Well, what can I say? I'm finally back? Yes. It feels really good to be back. How long has it been? 1 month? 2 months? I can't quite remember, shall have to look back on my last post. lo.. =D I would of came back quicker if I had the time. Time passes by so fast. It's strange and frightening, and yet at the same time, quite exciting. But yes, as I said before, I would of came back quicker - to write one or two posts but during that period, I was lost for words. Not because I was depressed - that took me 2 weeks to get me back on my feet - it was terrible - everything was grey and dull. Does that happen to you too? When things just go down? Do the colours around you fade rapidly??.... Aaah...

But no, not because of that. But because of post-depression??? I wouldn't have called it depression. More like an anxiety attack?? Post anxiety attack then. No, let's term it the 'identity lost'...hmmm... The first time. Right before I turned twenty. Teen-life crisis? No, that sounds dreadful. Questions - much, many, plenty, just lots and lots. What am I doing? What do I want? What do I need? Where I am going? Where do I want to be? .... hmm... Who am I?

Who am I?

hmm...Teen-crisis sounds a bit right now... I remember thinking what my teen-hood was like. What experiences did I have? Well, I have to admit - nothing exciting. There was never that situation with drugs, alcohol, underage clubbing, coming back home real late (early in the morning).............. Of course, they are no experiences that should be experienced let alone be wanted, but .... how can I put this right so that I don't sound like a dumb fool?... That feeling of wanting to say - yes, yes I've experienced it... No, more like... I guess to experience life?...

At the same time, it felt like as though I wasn't doing anything right. Nothing that I can truly say that I succeeded in. This is one fault that I've come to realise. I always leave things unfinished...incomplete - is it because I give up real easily? Or is it because I get real bored easily? Or is it because I haven't found my true passion?

Whatever it is, I guess...well, I guess that is what the 20s are for... to find out who you are...who i am...

*eyes closed*
*sigh*

hmmm....

You just got to run for it. To go for it. Never give up. Hope.


*smiles*

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FEMME

cotton-candy. student. daughter. sister. bopper. lover. giggler. lazy. hopeless romantic. dreamer. vulnerable. gullible. perfectionist. INSPIRED.

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